Surprise!

Surprise…five inches of snow in Redding!  It never snows like that in Redding!

Surprise…on the same day it snowed, Amy was able to purchase tickets and hotel for our family to make a trip to Disneyland.  The best part is that our children don't know!  We have been saving up and dreaming for many years about taking our kids to Disney.  And finally…we are going!  Tonight we will tell them …and Wednesday morning we will drive south.  We ARE SO EXCITED!

Yesterday, Nathan (pastor at The Stirring in Redding) taught about being "Given".  He shared how we mush give ourselves, our possessions, and finances to God because He gave us Jesus.  It was moving and powerful to consider the generosity of our giving God.
And then I wondered….
I am so excited to tell my kids about the reality of our Disney trip…having planned and prepared and dreamed about it for years…I wonder if God gets as wound up excited as I over the MANY gifts He has given me?  Does He feel the joy and anticipation?  Does He plan in secret for the moment when it is right to release gifts to me?  Wow.
I am sure my enthusiasm about my children's joy is a reflection (most likely a dim one) of Father's heart.

I sat for awhile during the sermon and simply let this idea sink in.
How wonderful to comprehend the Father's joy when I receive good things from Him.  How amazing for me to comprehend the Father's excitement and joy when He gives them.
Surprise!
How many times this week will I be on the receiving end of some small token of the Father's love?  Will I see Him in these gifts?  Will I know His heart?
I pray today you will see clearly…all the wonderful surprises He has in store for you.  May your life be overflowing with grace to experience His love through the big and small gifts that come from Him.

Torrents

I love water…lakes, rivers, oceans, waterfalls…..etc.

Often I think of how this water will one day find its way to the ocean.  I like to imagine the journey from stream to river over waterfall into the ocean.

This morning I was reading 1 Peter 1 & 2 "…who have been chosen …through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience…" I always enjoy the reality of being chosen by God.  Who doesn't want to be chosen??  It is even better when paired with the concept that He (the Spirit) is working hard at my obedience and my sanctification.
Somehow I find myself forgetting I am chosen and wandering into the idea that it is my hard work that will get me sanctified.  It is a sneaky forgetting…a quick silent wandering away from truth that snags me.  I don't recognize it fast and I seem to "slip" into a lie that I have to do the work, forgetting that He already decided I was His and He already sent the Spirit to guide me into obedience.

Water just runs to the ocean.  It does not work hard…it is simply in its nature to find the lowest point and rush there.  Given time it will naturally journey to the ocean.  I wonder today how much more peace I could live in if I trusted the work of the Spirit and the choosing of God?  If I recognized that I am just like the water…rolling, falling, running towards the ocean not because it is my nature but because He chooses me and He leads me…He sanctifies me.

The truth of His choosing and His working can release me to be at peace and to trust.  The reality of His active work sets me free to cooperate with Him.

When it is about Him I believe Jeanne Guyon who tells me that I am to rest in His spiritual torrents of love.  I can relax as He draws me ever onward towards the oceans of His presence. It is not about my work but about His work.
I did not choose me.
I do not sanctify me.
I rest and I rush.

May you relax in His choosing today.  May you rest in His working.  May you find yourself in the torrents of His love running down the hills and rushing over the cliffs of life towards His presence.
May you rest and rush today!

The Road

A friend of mine in Kansas City said something profound to me:

"Jim, the road always straightens out behind you!"

I thought it was good when he said it but as time passed it became a statement that would not leave me alone.  It was like an annoying pet that follows you everywhere …always in your shadow.

The road in front of me is always obscured by curves, too much light, the lack of light, etc.  It never seems to be straight forward, it never seems to make sense from this place in time and space.

However, when I look behind with a grateful heart I discover that the road is simply not as crooked.  It actually makes me think…"That was not that bad and it actually seems to make sense!"

When it comes to following Jesus the road always takes unexpected turns that leave one wondering what Jesus is thinking, planning, and doing.  He always keeps some form of mystery…I think he actually prefers the mountain curvy roads over the flat lands.

Does the road in front of me threaten me or give me an opportunity?  I think the point is for the curves and unknowns give me a great opportunity to offer Him trust and hope.  When I can see the curves in front of me as opportunities for growth and development they are much easier to navigate.  
The curves in front of me create opportunity to give Him my faithfulness, my heart committed to hope, and my trust.
The straight road behind me gives me peace and confidence to look ahead with a renewed sense of adventure and it helps me call my heart to faith.

May you look forward with hope and look back with gratitude!

TRUST

I know…I know.  Not the topic of trust again!
It is one of those that we all have to return to again and again…and again.  Sigh.

I was challenged this week by something I read.  Thank you Madame Guyon!
It was about how our soul has a natural hunger for God.  A God placed desire for intimacy with Him.  She suggested that if we surrender to that hunger, our souls will be like the water that falls on a mountain and subsequently finds its way down…down…down..and eventually to the ocean.
This inspired me.
It gave me more hope.
I hunger for God.   I long to walk with Him…to know Him…to be touched by Him and when I die, I hope people will say this one thing, "Jim really walked with God.  He really KNEW Him."
Too often I find myself drowning in my hunger for God.  Honestly allowing the hunger to drive me to work harder…DO more…read more…pray more…and simply drive myself more towards Him.  Most of the time this can be helpful but sometimes (like this week) I need to be reminded that in His great love for me (and His great wisdom) He gave me a hunger that flows down towards Him just like water flows towards the ocean.
I work to know Him and that is good.  More than that…He has done the work by giving me a longing that can't be filled anywhere else.  A longing that keeps drawing me into the depths of who He is.
If I can trust Him…He will lead me into the depths of intimacy with Him because it is what He designed for me.  TRUST.
Not only His work…but trust His work in my life.  Trust that in my own life He has created me to flow downstream to the depths.
Trust…gravity was His idea and His creation.
I will cooperate and I will DO all that needs to be done but ultimately gravity will have its way.  Ultimately I get to trust.

Clutter

Clutter

I recently taught a class on "Prayer".  

I love prayer, love to talk about it, love to do it, and love to learn more about it.  

Still, there are so many times when prayer is confusing! 

I have found that so many times when I go to pray there is so much clutter in my heart and mind.

Like the leaves in Brandy Creek, my prayer life swarms with do do lists, questions that don't have easy answers, imaginary conversations, and normal life concerns.  When I finally get to a place where I can pray…the leaves swirl around and clog the flow of the river!

Today I am reading "A Short Method of Prayer" by Madame Jeanne Guyon.  She is inspiring and what I would call and expert on prayer.  She writes  "in animating the will by affection, rather than fatiguing the understanding by study…" distractions are defeated.  She also says "a direct contest and opposition only serves to imitate and augment them."

Thank you Madame.

How many times have I wasted hours and days trying by my own will and mind to clear the leaves from my streams?  Yet on a day when my heart is burning with love the leaves in my streams suddenly disappear. Love wins.  Love cleanses and love moves things out of the way.

If only I can learn the fine art of animating my will with affection rather than trying to use my frail mind to force transformations of my heart!

May we all learn the great joy of a heart, mind, and will that is animated with affection.  

Finding The Brakes

Two weeks ago my friend Bobby came to visit.  
We planned a few days to camp, hike, and spend time seeking God and enjoying friendship.
Our second day we drove down from Castle Lake and suddenly noticed the golden sun streaming through the trees that were adorned with fall color.
The amazing gold and yellow stunned us and I had to stop the car to take this photo.
So many times I don't stop the car.  I see a sunset and just keep driving.  I notice something in a moment and am to busy to capture it.

Today I was reminded that this is also how I relate to God's presence.  While He is with me all the time and I believe He is always working to reveal Himself to me I don't always stop the car and grab the camera.  I get too busy...too many demands and too much to run off and do.
His glory and His presence are all around us all the time.  Sometimes we need to apply the brakes, find room on the shoulder, grab the camera and enjoy.
May you find the brakes, may you not miss the glory and the Presence.

Alone

Lonely
Father Andrew knew what he was talking about.
I found this lonely little dear along the river trail one day as I was taking time to talk with God.
It illuminated my current season of making new friends and letting go of old friends.  Accepting the new season the God has lead me into.
Loneliness is very hard to embrace.  Father Andrew knew that in the loneliness we find a gift: the ability to discover that we really are not alone but He is there with us.
In the lonely places the opportunity presents itself to discover that we are really connected at a deep level to the presence of God.
The trick here is always to embrace the lonely season instead of fill the lonely space with business, addiction, religion, work, etc.
In this new season of letting go and embracing new I find that He is inviting me to the lonely place where I am really not alone.  He is there.  Speaking, guiding, leading as He always does.
Pressing into lonely instead of running away is the key.
It takes intention.
It takes choosing.
It calls for an embrace of what is uncomfortable.

The rewards are amazing.  The reward is Him.
May you be full of grace to find Him in the lonely places.  May Brother Andrew's words become yours!

Surface

On Monday I discovered Castle Lake. 
The lake was really amazing early in the morning. Mist was rising off the water and the crisp fall air made everything feel more alert.
I decided to hike around the lake but discovered the trail only went half way around. Where it ended I tool this photo and sat for awhile.

Before leaving I noticed that just under the surface of the lake there was a whole tree!  You can barely see it in the photo.  It almost looked like someone threw the whole Christmas tree in the water.  There was no part of it above the surface of the Lake.

This tree below the surface reminds me of some emotions that lay just under the water.  They rest there on the bottom of my heart where no one can see but once in awhile I notice them sitting there underneath.

These are exactly the emotions that need my time and energy.  They need to be raised to the surface and inspected...vented so that He can have access to them.

Looking at the underwater tree I was reminded by Him that all my emotions matter to Him.

Last night I was at a church meeting.  It was a small group that was emotionally charged.  It was just one of those moments when needs are exposed and the church cares. One young man was sharing and explained how he was not feeling "anxious" when clearly, he was feeling anxious.  I thought it was amusing.  I wanted to tell him that it was okay to feel nervous.  He did not need to keep that under the surface.  
And just like that the Father reminded me that He longs to carry all my emotions (especially the underwater ones) with me.  In the revealing of them He leads, guides, comforts, and helps me find my way.

Bring them to the surface...find Him there listening, comforting, and loving you.

Delight

Lake Tahoe
Early morning.

A few weeks back I was able to get away for a three day retreat.  This is a usual practice for me...it is my rhythm of being a "seeker".
The amazing thing about this retreat was that I was given a room in a 5-star resort on Lake Tahoe.
GIVEN....

If you have never been to the lake, all I can tell you is that it is absolutely one of the most beautiful places I have seen. It is probably one of the most beautiful lakes on the planet.
Dwelling on the lake for three days of solitude was a true gift.  It was so comfortable to have my own room in a resort!
The weather was perfect.  Autumn in the mountains is crisp, colorful, fantastic. And guess what?  He even gave me freedom to eat and quit fasting!  I think you get the feel of where I am headed.
This retreat was incredible.  It was too good.

I am used to seeking God in seasons of hardship.  I have found Him is the desert, in the plains, in silence and in darkness.  It was hard to accept Him in delight.
In other seasons I always imagined that it would be easy to find Him in comfort and wonder.  I imagined being in "easy" seasons and I complained to Him about not getting an "easy" season!

Now, I get a wonderful retreat on an amazing lake and...I still complain.  Really, it took me two of the three days to accept His goodness.  I had to work through my resistance.  My journal was full of conversation about taking the risk to enjoy what was right in front of me.
I told Him that I am more comfortable in a cabin...or tent...or hammock.
I told Him I should fast because...well that is just what one does when one seeks!
I told Him the resort was awkward because it was so...soft.
I told Him I would hike to make it more...tough.
?

So many times we miss the joy that is right in front of us.  We are afraid.
Afraid the goodness will go away.  Afraid we will be disappointed. Afraid we don't deserve the joy or comfort.
I pushed Him back because I did not deserve this goodness.  He pressed in and reminded me that it was His choice to give this good gift and He wanted me to enjoy it.

Don't be the judge Jim.


Surrender is one of those things we just have to do.  It is required in every season.

What do you think?

Sunset

My friend Yvonne loves a good sunset photo.

Enough time with a friend and soon the things they love become the things you love!
I began taking photos of sunsets for Yvonne when I was making her a journal...I collected them.  The collection has not stopped.  I know, I know ...everyone collects sunset photos!

Here is the thing about sunsets for me: my friend Yvonne loves a beautiful sunset ...and she is blind.  With medically informed wisdom the doctors say she can't "legally" see.  She still has minimal sight in one eye..and with that eye, she loves to watch the sun set.
I often wonder what she sees...how her brain interprets the light and color.

This summer I had the intense privilege of watching the sun go down over the Teton Mountains with Yvonne.  We sat together in silence and enjoyed the experience together.

Despite the collected wisdom of the medical community Yvonne loves the beauty of the sunset.  She moves past judgement and beyond limitation and finds joy.  She presses beyond pain and loss and she finds the experience of beauty..anyway.  She steals my excuses.

Places of pain and loss can rob us of life.  We feel overwhelmed...we feel sad for ourselves (appropriately so), we get overwhelmed.   I tend to avoid the places of loss and shamefully at times I run to escape the hurt.
Yvonne's ritual observance of the sunset reminds me to hold fast.  Wait it out.  Patiently endure.  She proves that beauty can be found if you are courageous..if you dare.
May you find courage to behold the sunset today. Go to the places of pain and loss.  See what beauty you can find there.
Find a great sunset!

Cling

Both of these were taken on the trail coming down Castle Crags.  It was a day with the Father ...enjoying some silence and solitude.

I started noticing the trees that somehow cling to the mountains.  How they eek out existence on the rocky slopes is beyond me.  Where are their roots?  How do they get enough water?  What keeps them planted in the midst of the wild winter storms?

I thought...I should be like these trees. I should cling to God more.  I should hang in there tighter...be more dedicated...be more tenacious!

I should...

Then I heard the still small voice remind me: "It is I who hangs on to you."

So easy to get lost in "I should...".
Reality is that He holds fast no matter what I should do.  He holds fast when I have not held.
So maybe it is more accurate to think that the rock holds me?

Finding Beauty

So here is the story....
Living in Kansas City was amazing. 
However, I grew up amidst the wonder of the Sierra Nevada mountains.  I generally tell people that home is somewhere between Lake Tahoe and Yosemite.  Pretty amazing.
In Kansas City I was hungry for the mountains.  I complained to God all the time.  Tried to tell Him that it would be good to move the Rocky Mountains a little closer...etc.  He did not think that moving the mountains was a good idea.
One day when I was wrestling with Him over the lack of beauty in the Midwest, I sensed Him promise that if I would surrender, He would reveal beauty to me wherever I was.  WOW!
Really?
Yes.  The next retreat I took (thank you Jabez Retreat Center) He woke me up early every morning and I recorded all the beauty I saw with my camera.  
This sunrise was glorious, however the reality that He has created beauty EVERYWHERE and I get to participate in it...well that is even more wonderful!

Where have you seen His beauty?

Perspective

"Perspective"

I took this photo a few years back in the summer at Manzanita Lake.   Mt. Lassen is a favorite family place to be together and I just happened to catch this perspective of Lassen from behind the dead leaves.

When our little journey was over I looked through the photos and noticed this one.  I kept coming back to it and began to wonder why I was drawn to it?  I guess it is a perspective thing...

The dead leaves are not that impressive but they are in focus.  They are crisp and easy to see.  My eye can grab hold of them and really consider the texture, color and feel of them.  The snow clad mountain is what my eyes really want to see but in the photo I can't quite grasp the image of the snow, rocks and mystery of the mountain.

Unfortunately I find that in my world it is easy and quick to find focus on the dead things around me.  I see poverty and pain...I see death and destruction.  I see endings.  
Just behind the endings and the pain there is the mystery of beauty and wonder.  Hidden in the background just beyond my reach there is something wondrous and mighty.

I guess it is up to me to choose my focus.
What do you see?